BitterSweet Oblivion
by 13thDamselInDistress
Summary: What if after Bella's transformation she forgets her human life? How would she face her second life? How would Edward come to terms with the fact that Bella might never remember him EVER? Most of all, what would happen to poor little Nessie?
1. Agony

**BitterSweet Oblivion**

What if after Bella's transformation, just like Alice, she forgets her human life? How would she face her second life without her memories? How would Edward come to terms with the fact that Bella might never remember him EVER? Most of all, what would happen to poor little Nessie? This is a different take on the third book of BD.

**Chapter 1 – Agony**

The pain was bewildering.

Exactly that - I was _bewildered_. Every single part of my body was screaming in pure agony. It was as if it was not blood coursing through my veins anymore but outrageously hot, concentrated fire. But I can't scream for help; I can't even open up my eyes.

_What was happening?_

Was I being punished for all my wrongdoings? Was all this pain only apt for me – the atonement for my sins? If that was the case, how monstrous could they be for me to deserve being burn – alive and paralyzed? Or perhaps I was already dead and this was hell. That was more probable more than anything.

I racked my brains for at least one terrible act I committed to justify the torment I was being put through…and found…_nothing_.

As in, _nothing._

I cannot remember a single thing, even a short, lone memory – good or bad. I cannot remember even my own _name. _

_What was happening?_

What does this mean?

Was this part of the torture – _oblivion?_ Where was the Maker's impartiality? If I cannot recall even the slightest hint of my unforgivable crimes, surely, there was something amiss here. I just cannot accept this. I just cannot reconcile the fact that the Almighty is just yet He did not allow for me to have m memories back. Even just one. Even just the reason why I was even here in the first place.

I didn't know exactly when and how and why and what happened, but suddenly I was no longer unable to move. I was no longer paralyzed. I just knew it yet I did not dare act on it. I did not have the courage to even open my eyes and come face to face with my tormentors. I was too terrified of what I might see. If this was hell, I might not be alone. I cnnot stand the fact that I might see criminals – criminals like myself , people who so definitely deserve this kind of unimaginable agony. I just cannot accept that I was one of them.

I did not dare scream, either. I was extremely intimidated of what my punishers would do to me. It was highly possible that they would simply add more fire to my pyre if I did something that they would tip them off that I was still alive. Perhaps they thought I was dead, though right now I was fully convinced I was already. But there was something different in the surroundings that tells me I was still living. I paused and concentrated on a steady rhythmic beating of a heart.

_My_ heart.

The beating, now that I noticed it, was suddenly growing quicker and quicker by the second. And the fire, oh, the fire, was getting hotter and hotter, too.

_How was that possible?_

Just when I thought there couldn't be pain anymore torturous than what I was feeling, he agony suddenly reached a new high, breaking its own fiery record. Maybe this was it. After a few moments, I'll succumb to the insurmountable pain I was buried under and being pushed deeper and deeper.

_Finally. _


	2. Angel Edward's POV

**Chapter 2 – Angel (Edward's POV)**

"I must have done something wrong", I said quietly. "She's too still."

"You did everything could have done and so much more, son", Carlisle argued, his thoughts mirroring his words perfectly. He had too much faith in me. Faith in no way do I deserve.

Alice's vision suddenly clouded my own - Bella, dazzling and perfect, waking up into immortality. A wide grin spread across my face. She's going to survive after all. And, at last, we're equals. Bella would stop pleading me to give her what she thought she wanted the most, now that she has it. She's strong now and less breakable so I wouldn't have to worry that I might lose her on a daily basis. The Volturi would stop hovering over us now. I just hoped she wouldn't be disappointed and regret her choice when she found out about the omnipresent thirst.

And I wish her luck also improved along with everything else.

Then, the vision turned into an unexpected twist. Bella, looking honestly curiously, asked me, "Do you know me?"

I immediately rearranged, unconsciously, my facial expression – from ecstatic to…._horrified._

Bella, like Alice, had_ forgotten her human memories_.

And, also like Alice, she might never,_ ever_ remember them again. She might never remember me – as her husband, her destiny, the father of our wonderfully unique daughter. She might never remember our glorious Reneesme, because of this she might not understand. Alice, always one step ahead of everyone else, flew down to Rosalie. She instructed Rose and Jacob to take Reneesme into our little cottage for awhile.

So she could be safe from her own mother.

It pained me greatly to think of it that way - that Bella might hurt our half-human daughter only because she didn't remember her.

Just when I thought the stars were finally starting to align on our favor, yet another complication arises. After everything we're been through, after defying both our worlds together, this thing - her transformation - that we've always thought would finally solve all our remaining dilemmas, turns out to be yet another odd that was against us.

But how can I overcome this, now that I don't have my angel beside me? Now, that I'm…_alone?_

My hand tightened instinctively tightened around hers yet she did not even budge. I felt like I was a human punched hard in the gut. A hole was slowly forming on my chest as I come to terms with the knowledge of her oblivion. What if she runaway from us? What if she wanted to be alone? Or, worse, what if she fell in love with someone else and decided to leave us?

I knew I would let her go. I would respect whatever her decision would be. I owe her that much.

_But, how about Reneesme?_

What do I say to her when she looks for her mother?

Alice was suddenly by side, her little hands on my shoulders, forcing me to look her in the eye. I just can't. I don't want her to see the agony that was surely written all over my face.

So, I closed my eyes instead.

She sighed, exasperated.

_Edward I don't have anything to prove my word right now but I have a strong feeling this would turn out fine in the end. Be strong, please, for Bella, for Nessie, for_ yourself. _Please, Edward, listen to me!_

"Easy for you to say. You're not the one losing your reason for existence," I murmured miserably.

"What's happening? ," Carlisle asked. He was a little irritated, something unusual, since he had been asking that to me, in his thoughts, but I was too absorbed in my misery to give a damn.

"I'll call all the others. It's almost time." Alice said, bolting out the door and leaving me to explain to Carlisle the hell I was being put through.

"She had amnesia, Carlisle." It was amazing how much it hurt to say it aloud. And forcing them to the air seemed to solidify the certainty of the torment I was about to experience.

It was so unexpected, something I was not particularly used to feeling, when Carlisle simply shrugged. He seemed…guilty. _The morphine_…was all his mind could say.

"It was the morphine..?,"I asked, disbelief apparent in my voice.

He nodded apologetically. _I'm sorry, Edward. I should have warned you. But I didn't think you'd get so overboard with it so I didn't think you'd need the warning. _Even his thoughts were heavily saturated with guilt.

"It's hardly your fault. You have absolutely nothing to be guilty for. Don't torment yourself." I said. I really wasn't blaming him. I wasn't even the littlest bit infuriated with him. It was not only because I don't have any right to, but because I wasn't sure if I'd ever feel anything else but pain right now. I don't think I'll ever be capable of feeling anything else again. Not without my angel.

As if on cue, my angel slowly opened up her eyes. She looked at the ceiling and seemed…_fascinated_. I blocked her view and so I'll be the first person she sees. Perhaps she'll remember.

I looked at her blood-red eyes and worried about her throat. Her thirst had to be unbearable right not. Oh my angel, my poor Bella had to be in so much pain right now.

I didn't notice we were not alone - I was too preoccupied – until Jasper spoke aloud.

"Do not get too close to her, Edward. She's still a newborn and she's still extremely dangerous", he said and added, _No matter how much you think otherwise._ His voice came out blunt and I wanted to toss him around for speaking – and thinking – about her that way, even though it might be true_._ But I didn't want to leave Bella's side for a second, not until she orders me away. Just thinking about her inevitable parting words in the near future made it impossible to function normally.

I felt Bella get up and ripped he hand away from mine. I felt the pain caused by the huge hole in my stone chest was intensifying by the second. I reminded myself this was just the first of the many rejections that would sure to follow.

She crouched in the other side of the room. She was already a vampire – that much was physically obvious – yet she didn't appear to have even the slightest tendency of being menacing. If anything, she looked even more endearing to me.

"Em, Jazz, that's not really necessary", I said to the two as calmly as I could. How dare them threaten to hurt my angel.

They left their defensive positions yet still ready to grab and calm down Bella if she showed the slightest inkling to be a threat. I sighed, frustrated. I didn't really think Bella could and would hurt me – even if she didn't remember me. And, in all honesty, I wouldn't have cared even if she did.

"Bella", I called her gently, the way the ways I've always did and always will. I hope that, deep in her heart, she'll be able to recall the loving way my voice wraps around her name like a caress.

I started to walk towards her in my normal speed, eager as usual to have her under my touch, even for only a while. Jasper, bursting my bubble, started shouting a big _No!_ in his head. _Oh, please, Edward, if you value my sanity, please at least _try_ to walk slowly. Alice would never forgive me if anything happens to you,_ he pleaded.

I rolled my eyed but complied. I took my time to reach my angel and for the first time appraised her new body. She was every bit as dazzling as she always has been. Her white marble skin was faintly glowing from the light of the fluorescent and her rich dark brown hair crowned her glorious face perfectly, like a cascading waterfall.

I stopped directly in front of her and tenderly reached for her face. To my delightful surprise, she relaxed under my touch.

Just like the old times.

"Edward", she said in her new, wonderful voice.

She knew _me!_ She remembered me after all! Perhaps Alice's vision was wrong. Everything was perfect now, just like it should be. Exactly like it should be.

I never fully believed in fairytales before. We were creatures of the dark; we do not deserve happiness. Yet somehow, all my family had found their mates and had experienced elation they never thought possible before.

And now I was feeling the same.

Perhaps, just like in the books, I will finally get a taste of consummate happiness.

But her next words broke my frozen heart to a million tiny, ragged pieces, like a disturbed crystal at the edge of a table.

_"Do you know me?"_


	3. Angel Bella's POV

**Chapter 3 – Angel (Bella's POV)**

It took every ounce of my control not to let out a blood-curdling shriek of unbearable agony as the pain unbelievably aggravated.

_A little more time, a little more pain and this all would be over._ I chanted to myself over and over. It was the only way for me to keep silent and remain still. The idea of dying was both consoling and terrifying. I allowed myself a slight relief from being freed, finally, from this kind of suffering. But this only lead me to fear whatever I was waiting for me to the other side. What if escaped the torture here, only to be punished some more on my next life? If there was –

_Thud._

A deafening drum-like sound broke through my unpleasant train of thought, which should have been a good thing.

Except that I realized it was the last beat of my heart.

The burning feeling all over my body was mostly gone…except in my throat. There was still fire in my throat. But it was surprisingly easy to ignore.

I suck in a gulp of air, tasting my surroundings. It wasn't entirely peaceful, like it would have been if this were heaven. Yet it wasn't completely chaotic, either. Just somewhere precariously in between. I braced myself for whatever it was lurking

Six quiet breathings – that was all I was hearing.

One was extremely close – almost as if he were breathing _me._

I ever so slowly opened my eyes…and _gasp!_ Everything here was _beautiful._ Even the dust dancing and swirling around the light was attractive. Perhaps this was heaven, after all.

An angel's breathtaking face appeared in front of my eyes and confirmed my assumptions. He looked…inexplicably concerned, so intensely worried as if he was in physical pain himself, like I was merely minutes ago. I wanted to erase the anxious lines on his excruciatingly lovely face. The troubled expression just didn't belong there. But I also wanted to teach a lesson whoever it was that caused him to look apprehensive a lesson.

My blissful moment of contented silence simply staring at the beautiful creature before me was interrupted by a sharp, harsh voice.

"Do not get too close to her, Edward. She's still a newborn and she's still extremely dangerous."

Edward. So that was the name of this angel. It suits him because like him, his name was _remarkable_._ Unforgettable._

Edward turned his head slightly to where the annoying voice came from. I wanted to grab him so I could continue staring at his perfect face. Yet I also wanted to crush to death whoever it was who was intervening with us. He didn't deserve the angel's attention. Not that I did, anyway.

I sighed quietly, frustrated, and realized I had been holding my breath since I saw the angel. I got up, surprisingly swift, and realized the angel was holding my hand. I smiled to myself and took in the scene in front of my eyes. Two heavily muscular men – one blond, the other dark-haired – were positioned protectively in front of three others – two brunettes and another blond man. In the fraction of a second it took me to comprehend this, my survival instincts were suddenly on high-alert_: There was danger._

I leapt on the other side of the room, opposite the others and scanned the room. The two "protectors" were already crouched, like I was. I took one look at the blonde's determined face and the dark-haired smug expression and instantly felt…terrified. Just one of them could so easily take me down.

"Em, Jazz, that's not really necessary", the angel, who was now also my savior, said. It was amazing how everything about him was just…_exceptionally adorable. _Even his sweet, honey-velvet voice could earn my awe for the rest of time.

The two immediately straightened up. I remained ready o attack. Who knows when they would defy the angel's order?

"Bella." I instantly relaxed upon hearing the melodic voice of the angel directed toward me. He was slowly, deliberately walking into my direction.

Bella? I wanted to ask if I were Bella, if that was my name, if he knew me.

But all I could do was stare. He was just so beautiful; he's taking my breath away.

When he was one step away from me, he slowly lifted his hand and gently caressed me cheek.

The gesture was oddly familiar, like someone used to do that to me before, yet also disturbingly different – there was just something off about his warm touch, like it didn't belong there.

I closed my eyes and rested my face on his glorious touch. I tried to remember why this felt like déjà vu and came up with…_nothing._

Perhaps I should start my questioning now.

"Edward?", I said tentatively. I still wasn't sure if that really was his name.

He smiled a wide, beautiful smile and his whole face lighted up. He was suddenly glowing and radiant.

And I suddenly wanted to kiss me.

But I need to ask him a question first.

_"Do you know me?" I asked timidly. My question, even to my own ears, sounded stupid, like they were scrambled and didn't make sense._

His smile wavered infinitesimally that I wasn't sure if I just imagined it. Then he said the words that sent a shock wave through me as if I were being tasered, _"Yes, I'm your husband."_


	4. Amazing

AN: I sincerely apologize for the _long_ wait. We just started classes and my professors are as crazily demanding as ever.

I hope you all would understand.

Please, please, don't hate me.

-Jazz-

**Chapter 4 – Amazing**

"I'm your husband."

The words reverberated in my ear much like an irritating, maddening echo. Everything in me was screaming a big, bewildered, _**"No!"**_ This was downright obtuse.

Husband?

Wedding?

_Marriage?_

I cringed mentally, and perhaps physically as well, as I thought of the words. I may not remember anything, not my name or even my own _face_, but I was absolutely certain I could never willingly marry anyone - no matter how perfect and beautiful they are. Not even this impeccable angel in front of me.

Sensing my apparent distress and disbelief, he gently lifted my left hand and I was rendered speechless with utter shock as my eyes fell upon the ring on my finger. There was no denying it; the concrete evidence was just blaring.

'This is not true. This could _not_ be true.' was all my mind could say over and over. I couldn't even open my mouth to get my protests out in the open. All I could muster up was a whispered, _"Impossible" _while still staring at the ring, as if my eyes were suddenly glued to it.

_Then I ran_.

Away from all these madness. Away from this angel – no, he wasn't an angel after all. Edward. Yes, that was his name. That was what I should call him.

And I was married to him? A part of me, no matter how much I try to crush the thought off, was immensely flattered. _He was my husband? _How did the perfect creature that he was even _think_ of being that close to someone as disoriented and undesirable as _me?_ That just didn't make sense at all. So lost in my own thoughts, I wasn't paying particular attention to where I was going. And since I didn't have any destination, how could I get lost?

The emotions coursing through me were so ephemeral. I didn't have enough time to grasp and examine them carefully before another equally anonymous feeling seizes me.

_Have I always been this emotionally volatile?_

Perhaps I should go back. Perhaps they could explain who I really was. Perhaps I would believe them.

I was busily contemplating going back, seeing the angel again…when a delicious, mouth-watering scent hit me.

In an instant, the tolerable, almost forgotten burn in my throat scorched like a wild conflagration. My feet instinctively followed where the scent was from.

And it was then the truth dawned on me.

Suddenly I knew what I was.

_A vampire._

A dark, blood-sucking creature.

And now I was sprinting towards my food, my prey.

_A human. _A weak, delicious human.

And the closer I get the more maddening his delectable scent becomes. My obnoxious vampiric instincts were taking over any rational sense. All I could think of was to satisfy my evil cravings, to put out the unbearable fire in my throat.

Yet in the back of my mind, I feel disgusted with myself.

But I cannot make myself stop.

I _need_ to. But I _can't._

All of a sudden, I sensed someone running in the same direction I was, diverting my attention. _A competitor?_ I turned around, ready to strike whoever dared touch what was already mine, and my breath suddenly caught in my throat.

It was the angel.

No, Edward. That was his name. That was what I should call him. How many times do I have to tell myself that?

Like a child caught with his hands on the cookie jar, I felt instantly guilty and embarrassed for even _thinking_ of doing such a horribly unthinkable crime. And I even thought of him as a competitor.

I was a disgusting monster.

I ran past him, as fast as my legs could carry me, this time not away from him, but away from my innocent temptation.

What was I thinking? How can even I _consider_ giving in to my sinful nature and satiate my hideous appetite? I was such a despicable creature.

Despite that, everything in me was _screaming_ it was right.

_How could that be?_

So absorbed in my own thoughts, I didn't notice a herd of elk running nearby until I saw them and their scent, which was nowhere near as crazily luscious compared to the agonizingly delicious human, reached me. As non-appetizing as they smell, the warm, fresh blood rushing through their veins was a quiet, irrestibly remarkable promise of a quenched thirst once I sink my teeth into them.

So I did.

One by one, I ravaged each until I was sure another drop of liquid couldn't fit into my body anymore. When I finished, I was appalled at how many carcasses was there – five. I've eaten the whole herd.

"Bella." I turned towards the mesmerizing voice that was unmistakably from the angel. How does he do _that?_ How come he could make a single, lone, mundane word sound like a song from the heavens?

As overcome with guilt as I was, I knew I shouldn't be able to look him straight in the eye. Not after him seeing how close I was to slaughtering a human – a normal, living person, someone with a family that would look for him if he mysteriously disappears from the face of the planet. A family that would mourn for the blameless sacrifice that should be made merely for my own, selfish, deplorable benefit. He could have been a good citizen, a loving father, a faithful husband. He could have had an indispensable job at a company, a crucial role in the community, a fundamental place in his family. And it was all so easily could have been devastated. All because of _me._

But I couldn't find it in me to look away from his golden, bewitching gaze. As if I were a victim of hypnosis, I found myself slowly walking towards him. He met me halfway, grinning from ear to ear.

_What was there to smile about? _I thought to myself rather annoyed.

"You are amazing", he whispered and ever-so-gently nuzzled my forehead. His arms wrapped around my waist and I felt my body melt into his. His effect on me was terrifyingly astounding; his skin against mine felt dangerously right, _perfect_. His sweet, delicious breath brushed softly against my cheek and I greedily breathed him in. I could almost believe what he said about him being my…

_NO!_

I can't even make myself think of the mere word, let alone actually believe it was true.

I pulled away from him and stood at the farthest end of the…meadow. We were at a meadow. It was the first time I took notice where we were - a perfect circle of the most beautiful flowers in every shade imaginable with magnificent, evergreen trees. It was the loveliest sight I'd ever laid eyes on, as far as I could remember, of course. And, well, not counting the only other creature standing on it with me.

Before he could again unconsciously put me under his spell, I spoke, pretending to examine the tress behind him, as an excuse not to look at him.

"I've almost murdered a human. How can I be amazing? I am such an _appalling, obnoxious_ creature." Admitting aloud what almost happened made me all the more guilt-ridden that I was almost suffocated by the feeling.

He laughed gently and I realized it was the best sound I have ever heard.

I slowly shook my head to help clear it, to no avail. I concentrated on counting the leaves behind him and pay less attention to the speaker himself. But it was all in vain. I only got more and more aware of his seemingly inescapable, glowing presence. And angel with a halo and wings intact would have been less conspicuous…and beautiful.

"What you did, run away from your prey, was impossible for a newborn." He stated rather matter-of-factly.

I frowned, uncomprehending.

"I'll explain to you everything", he promised. _"Just go home with me"_, as he said the words, his voice lowered slightly and his eyes blazed with unfathomable emotions.

I forcefully, and admittedly unwillingly, pried my eye away from his too handsome face, _just to think._ If he continued doing dazzling me like that, I might lose my already loose grip on sense and do whatever he tells me to do and believe whatever comes out of his perfectly sculptured lips. Which, needless to say, absolutely terrifies me.

"Okay", I finally replied and a big, playful smirk painted across my face as a mischievous plan occurred to me. _"Let's race",_ I challenged and run back faster than I've ever had.


End file.
